I was 18 years old when my mother killed herself and changed my life forever. Her death, and my struggle to conquer the effects of her suicide, has informed the fabric of my life - how I see, how I behave, and most importantly, how I feel. I fight the depression that is her legacy to me, commune with others who have suffered the suicide of an important person in their lives, and look for a resolution that I may never find.
Daughter of Suicide follows me on a journey to get to know my mother and to understand her death. Throughout the film, I am driven by the desire to find closure and to learn to see her suicide as a source of power in my life rather than a monkey on my back. Shot on a combination of digital video, 16mm and Super 8 film, Daughter of Suicide tells my mother's story - and my own - through interviews, cinema verité footage and imagery that explores the thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories associated with her life and her death.
Daughter of Suicide is my journey, but it reflects the journey of many other survivors of suicide in the United States. I provide pieces to the complex puzzle that led to my mother's suicide, but in doing so I explore issues that are repeated time and time again in the lives of people who take their own lives. I, like many survivors of suicide, have realized that my connection to my mother is through friends and family and through my memories of a childhood before my mother became ill. In getting to know her through the making of this film, I have also realized just how great the loss of life to suicide is. I will never know the woman I discovered while making Daughter of Suicide, but I hope that our story will help others to recognize the dangers of depression in themselves and in the people they love.
Daughter of Suicide premiered in May 2000 on HBO.
